Thursday, April 1, 2010

What to Do When Kids Are Annoying


April 1, 2010

What to Do When Kids Are Annoying

Dealing with annoying behavior is not like disciplining for defiance or teaching a child to follow instructions. When it comes to impulsivity, the child can't always make changes just by choosing something different. In many cases, kids don't realize that they're being annoying and they don't know what to do to be more appropriate.

Furthermore, these patterns often come from habits that have been practiced for a long time. These reasons are not excuses for inappropriate behavior but they're a further indication that the job will take concentrated effort from the child and the parents.

Part of the issue is immaturity; the child hasn't learned how to pick up on the social cues or restrain behavior as much as we'd like. But these children need more than just time to grow up. They need concentrated work to develop two character qualities: self-control and sensitivity. These qualities not only help children when they're young, but they become tools for success as children get older.

Here are some working definitions for sensitivity and self-control to get you started with your children in this area:
Self-control is the ability to control myself so that Mom and Dad don't have to.
Self-control means to think before I act.
Self-control is the ability to talk about problems instead of grabbing, pushing, or hitting.
Self-control means that I limit the noises I make when others are around.
Self-control means that I focus on one thing until it gets done, before I move to the next.
Sensitivity means that when I walk into a room I look and listen before I speak.
Sensitivity is thinking about how my actions are affecting other people.
Sensitivity means thinking about how I could help someone else.

This parenting tip comes from Chapter 7 in the book Good and Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN,BSN.
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