Friday, May 27, 2011

Firmess with Relationship

Parenting Tip

May 26, 2011
Firmness with Relationship

Children and parents should be friends, but don't let that desire weaken your limit-setting. One mom of three teens said, "I used to feel bad when I had to say 'No' because I thought they'd be mad at me. Now I've learned to make a decision and enforce it because it's the right thing to do. They may get angry, but I have to do it because I'm their mom. After they settle down, they know I did it for their own good."

Firmness doesn't need to be cold and distant. Eye contact, gentle words, and extra time can add a personal touch to parenting that helps children feel valued. Putting your hand on your son's shoulder, calling your daughter close to give an instruction, addressing a child by name, and speaking softly are all ways to show children that they're important. Children are not possessions to order around with harshness—they're treasures to treat with honor. Sometimes we have to respond, "I'm sorry but I have to say no."

Nagging and harshness, are relationship-damaging patterns and require retraining of both children and parents. Children must learn to respond to different cues, and parents must learn other habits of giving instructions or warnings. Changing habits is not easy and requires self-discipline, courage, and humility. The work, though, provides parents with one of the skills that demonstrates honor-based parenting."

What are some ways you've been able to practice honor-based parenting? Click here to tell us about it.

This tip comes from the book Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids, by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.
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