You Can't Make Me...Strategies for your Strong-Willed Child

Cynthia Ulrich Tobias

I have heard great things about Cynthia Tobias when it comes to her books on learning styles. While I have not read one of them, I knew I had to jump at the chance to read one of her books when I had it.

The first thing I learned from reading You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded): Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child is that my child is not as strong-willed as she could be! (Whew!)

The second thing I learned is that the strategies she 
suggests in dealing with a SWC (strong-willed child), are things that can be helpful in dealing with any child.

I think the one that has encouraged me the most is "Ask more questions; issue fewer orders." It does not mean not to have expectations or requirements. It does mean think about how you phrase them.

There's a big difference between:
"You still haven't emptied the dishwasher!" 
and
"Have you emptied the dishwasher yet?"

Tobias mentions that it is an attitude that assumes the best which, of course, makes me think of I Corinthians 13 and the characteristics of love.

She delves not only into dealing with a SWC now but also how to help them in school, as they grow into a teen and young adult, how to nurture your relationship with them, and how to attempt to restore a relationship if already lost.

I really appreciate the focus at the end of the book on God and His role in the family and parenting. She's also honestly states that strategies have an expiration date. Certain ones may work for a while but then you have to change things up. 

Cynthia Tobias' book is a help, but as she point out, the final answer is in Him.

You can read a sneak peak HERE to see what I mean!

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.