Yelling: a review, Kindle book, and FB Party

So much to share!!

First, back in November, 2011, I did a review of Yelling: The Cause, The Casualty, and The Cure in which I did a poor job since I was in a big funk. It deserves a better review and here it is!


Yelling. I've done it. I confess. Although I try not to use it as part of my regular repertoire of discipline, it comes out at times. Especially when I'm not feeling well or stressed.  The wonderful thing about Lorrie Flem's book is that it recognizes that. Just like the title states, Mrs. Flem deals with the causes and the cures of yelling. She gives an 11-step plan that makes sense and can work. I know. I've tried them.


Here are just a few points or quotes from the book that have made a difference in how I choose to respond.

• Look at it this way, if it isn’t life-threatening, if the house is not ablaze, if it is not time to call 911, or if the child you are yelling at is not half a mile away, then yelling is the wrong choice...
• ... to stop yelling is to understand what triggers the yelling.
• When we are behind, frazzled, hurrying, and trying to move fast, a child may anger us much more easily, causing us to yell.
• Lower your expectations.

There is sooo much more, but you have to get the book yourself to find out. 

You see, Mrs. Flem of Eternal Encouragement has released this as her first ever Kindle book. Yelling: The Cause, The Casualty, The Cure is available regularly for $4.99 at Amazon and of course, you can download the Kindle program for free for your computer, tablets and smart phones.

The awesome news is you can get the book for FREE on Tuesday, July 24. And not only will you get Yelling for free but a whole slew of additional freebies!  I mean over a hundred dollars worth of stuff you'll receive for free just by purchasing the book on Tuesday, July 24.

If all that weren't enough, Lorrie is also hosting a FB Party that day. Part I will be from 2-4 EST and Part II will be from 8-10 EST. You can come to one or both and glean on this topic live from Lorrie!

Comfort for Christian Parents of Unconverted Children

There are many godly women I know who are concerned about their children's salvation. Actually, we all are, but I'm referring to those who have teen and older. Those whose children are their "own people" so to speak. This is for them, but also for those of us who still have some input!


Here's an article by Jim Elliff of Christian Communicators Worldwide.

All Christian parents wish that God would show us something to do that would secure our child's salvation, and then "we'll do it with all our might" because we love our child so much. Yet, God has not made salvation the effect of somebody else's faith; our son or daughter must come to Christ on his or her own. John shows us that all Christians are born into God's family "not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, [that is, somebody else's will] but of God." (John 1:13)

Although salvation is the work of God and not something that we can do for our child, there is hope. Consider the following:

1. A true burden in prayer for your child is a gift from God. A persistent burden may indicate that God intends to give your child eternal life because authentic prayer always begins with God. Though we cannot be absolutely certain that we know all that God is doing, we should be optimistic if the burden continues.

2. The miracle of the new birth is no less possible to God if our child is attentive to Him or running away from Him. Our child is like all other children when it comes to God's grace. He is dead spiritually whether he is in church or not, whether he listened well to the truths we tried to teach him or did not, whether he has some interest in God now or has none at all. He may be converted in the pig pen or the pew and we do not know in this case what is preferred by God.

3. God does hear our prayers. Though God has taught us that He chooses all who are His before the foundation of the world, He also taught us that we should pray, and not only pray, but expect the answer to our prayers. It is true that God is sovereign and it is just as true that He answers prayer. In fact, He could not answer prayer if He were not in control of all things.

4. We may have hope because of God's election of those who will come to Him. Every child is on his way to hell unless God stops him. God's election is our friend. We would have no hope for our child's salvation without it, because no child would turn to Christ if left in the state depravity (Romans 3:9-11). But given God's election of people for Himself, we can be encouraged.

5. Your child has some clear knowledge of what it means to be a true Christian. The Spirit certainly may bring this to bear at any time if this is His chosen method. Though it is no less a miracle for a knowledgeable child to be converted than a child with little knowledge; God always uses the gospel seed in every conversion.

6. Your own disobedience in the past will not ultimately keep your child from becoming a believer. It is pointless to berate yourself for any wrong behavior on your part as if it were the reason your child is without Christ. This does not mean that we as parents should not repent and do better, and even admit wrong to our children. But the reason your child is without Christ is related to his or her own sin. Every parent is sinful and inconsistent. This has never been a barrier to God if He desires to save your child. Illustrations abound of children who come from far less godly families who are nonetheless converted to Christ. In fact, this may have been the case in your own experience.

7. Some children may need the experience of being away from parental care in order to face up to their own need for Christ. The sense of need for many may be discovered only in the context of difficulties. We should not be surprised if it takes some solo flying before a child learns that he or she really needs another as his pilot.

8. Remember that there are lots of people who have come to appreciate their history prior to coming to Christ. I'm not saying that these people would not have wanted conversion earlier, but that the pain of the their pre-conversion history has left them with compassion, understanding, knowledge, testimony, and a burden that they would perhaps not have had any other way. They've seen God's wisdom in the timing of their conversion. This may well be so with your child. Paul said that there was a reason he was chosen to be converted even though he was a murderer, blasphemer and violent aggressor—so that people will see and have hope that God can save anyone.

9. You cannot save your child yourself no matter how hard you try. You are in a position of trust alone. This is good because it is the only way to please God (Heb. 11:6). Your rest in God, while simultaneously praying to the God who answers prayer, will be an encouragement to others in the same situation It will also help you respond to your child more positively, and will make your life far more joyful than your anxiety ever could.

10. Finally, remember that God has a purpose in all He does. We will one day rejoice that God has done a perfect job of ruling His universe. When we acknowledge this and put God even above our children, we will actually demonstrate to our child the way a Christian is to live.

Copyright © 2003 Jim Elliff
Christian Communicators Worldwide, Inc.
Permission granted for not-for-sale reproduction in unedited form
including author's name, title, complete content, copyright and weblink.
Other uses require written permission.
www.CCWtoday.org

A Girl's First Domestic Domain

I had planned on sharing this post from Raising Homemakers because it was a great piece about allowing  your daughter's bedroom be her first training ground.

However, it became more to me than that. One little section has caused me to pause and re-evaluate the reason to keep the house clean. 
"We don’t keep our homes clean so others will ooh and aah over what we have accomplished or so our friends will like us, we keep our homes clean because we are a direct reflection of the Lord, a God of order, not chaos. (2 Cor 3:18)"


It made an impact the other night when I had to wake my daughter up to finish cleaning her room.  Needless to say, she was not happy about it.  After the chore was finally completed, I had the opportunity to share the difference between order and chaos, the fact that God is a God of order in whose image we were made, AND the that it was something we both needed to work on.

It has made a difference looking at the table or the floor and realize I need to bring order to the chaos.  I've also told mija today, "The bathroom floor is in choas.  Please bring some order to it."  She knew exactly to what I was refering and how it glorified God the creator.

So, here's the article that made a difference to me these last few days:

A Girl’s First Domestic Domain

by Amy on August 22, 2011

My daughters share a bedroom. It’s a lovely space with khaki-colored walls and equine-inspired decor. It is a place that is distinctly “them,” a blending of two unique individuals.

Where many people see a place to sleep, I see a place to practice. A domain all their own where creativity and orderliness can take flight.

Creativity and Orderliness.

These two must go hand in hand or you will quickly find your daughters amassing enormous quantities of paper bits, posters, trinkets, and knick-knacks. But never fear! You can teach your daughters how to care for their very first domain beautifully and neatly.

To read the rest click HERE.


This article was posted on August 22 on Raising Homemakers.  I knew I was going to post it because it makes a very valid point about having your daughter's bedroom become the training ground for her future role.

Don't take a bath & other things I learned from 5 R's of Godly Womanhood

Don't take a bath.



That is only one  of the many pearls of wisdom I gained this month from listening to Godly Womanhood: The 5 R's for Homeschool Moms by Lorrie Flem.  I reviewed the first 2 R's of this Eternal Encouragement resource last month.  This month I gleaned from the last 3 R's which are Refine, Rejuvenate and Rest.

The set includes 5 MP3s and 5 e-books and is available for $24.97 HERE at Eternal Encouragement. 

Why don't you go purchase it now while I wait for you?

Back?

Good. 

While you were gone, I learned to view my housekeeping as a God given career and plan to improve it. 

That was definitely a challenge to me.  I've often used homeschooling as an excuse for my messy house.  In fact, a friend credits this fact to the safety of her home. Awhile back, they awoke to find their front door broken in. Nothing was taken, however. She thought nothing was stolen because the thieves didn't want to deal with the chaos in her living room!

True story.

But Lorrie challenged me to not accept where it is but to plan on improving my performance just like someone who works in a career outside of the home would do.

Then in Rejuvenate, Lorrie taught about CRIJ.  It can be a challenge to get all four elements together in my own obedience! When it comes to mija, well sometimes I might get CRI but no J, but on a really bad day I may only get a C.  Then sometimes, I don't know if because she's sanguine or because she's a blonde, but C and I go out the window leaving only an attempt at R and J.

I'm sure you'll understand better when you listen to Rejuvenate for yourself.


In Rest, I learned that for my rest tomorrow, I have to work today. Lorrie taught me there is a lot more to resting than just attempting to get time alone.
Which reminds me.

Don't take a bath.

I received a complimentary copy of the 5 R's of Godly Womanhood as part of The Gabby Moms in exchange for my honest review.

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)

A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”



She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”


Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.


A Rock-Bottom Job?


The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.


Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.


If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?


It's Not a Hobby


Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.


Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.


Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.


Run to the Cross


But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.


Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.


The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.


The Question Is How


The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?


It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.


Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.


Hands Full of Good Things


When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”


Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.


Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone.


Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She is the author of "Loving the Little Years" and blogs at Femina. Her husband is Luke, and they have five children: Evangeline (5), Daphne (4), Chloe (2), Titus (2), and Blaire (5 months).

Simplify

From CurrClick Weekly Newsletter on May 23, 2011


Simplify



Pressure and rush so often describe our modern lifestyles. As a result, our homeschooling can become disorganised and cluttered. It usually starts small and creeps up until we can barely see the papers and books around us, sometimes not even the one we are looking for. Do you feel like this every now and then? Stand back, breathe deep, and simplify.


S I M P L I F Y ! Let’s start where mom’s normally put themselves: Last. Let’s start at the end to get to the beginning.


You can begin by taking a good look at yourself and making a list of your strengths and weaknesses. Next, look objectively at your children’s needs and assess what you can tackle yourself and what you can better achieve by outsourcing. Be willing to adapt and change your approach as you go along.


Fill yourself: Keep your own tank full spiritually, emotionally and physically. Old habits tend to die hard so when investing in yourself, don’t bite off more than you can chew or work through. Ensure that the new activity is convenient and fun. This will ensure greater success. Learn to laugh while you are learning and getting better at it yourself. Small victories are all stepping stones to the bigger victories.


Identify the goal: First set your end goal and then break this into smaller or short term goals that are reachable. In so doing you have things to aim at as you go along, having reached and passed each success. Supportive information in setting realistic goals is to know and understand your child’s learning styles and basic personality type.


Lighten the load: Reward goals that have been achieved. Remember to laugh at your slip-ups: Very little in life is not worth a good chuckle over. Focus on completing the essentials and fill in with interest pursuits. Aim to finish three things per day, big or sma ll. Balance the time between learning activities home based and extra mural activities. Checklists will help you declutter and reorganise.


Pray: Faced with a big decision or preparing for the year, it is always a good idea to take time to pray about your decisions. Some parents even take a weekend away to pray and seek the will of God as well as assess and re-evaluate their goals. This is good for parents and children alike.


Make memories: Family life and life in general is made up of experiences and memories. Use these to forge a bank of things both you and your children would like to remember. A daily journal keeps you on track, after all homeschooling is a learning curve for us all, not just the children!


Improvise: There is always a way, one around an obstacle. Use the creativity God has given to all of us parents. Know that every challenge brings its own learning experience. Utilise t hese.


Support: It is vital to your homeschooling success for you and your children. Take stock of all your resources, big and small, friends we can rely on and family members who understand us and our vision. For making friends and sharing experiences, join a support group. If you can’t find a support group, start one. Incorporate activities in your area: sport, drama, libraries and so on.




Sonia Hawkins is co-founder of Ripples Publishing, along with her husband Dave. They have two children aged 14 and 10. Besides homeschooling her two children for the past ten years, Sonia has three and a half years experience as a children’s pastor at a local church and currently teaches two to three year olds at a local preschool.


She has studied Edu-K for the last few years and is at present finalising her internship.
She has written five children’s boo ks so far, three of which are available as e-book downloads at CurrClick.
Sonia’s passion is children and their wellbeing. More information can be found on www.parenting-children-tips.com.

A Queenly Review and an Eternal Encouragement Giveaway

My daughter is all into PRINCESSES.  After all, she IS a princess.

Which makes my husband the king and me, well, it makes me the queen...

I know.  I'm really classy and elegant thanks to my Burger King crown.

So needless to say, I was immediately attracted to my newest Gabby Mom review which is a MP3 from Mrs. Lorrie Flem entitled "Keys to a Queenly Castle."  It's about the role of a wife and mother as queen of her home.   I really appreciated how she related to the command God gave for male and female to have dominion over the earth.

Boy, was it ever convicting and timely.  But of course, that's how most things are from Eternal Encouragement

Last Thursday, my husband lost his job.  It's been happening to a lot of people, so I'm sure there are other wives out there who are facing the same thing.  It hasn't even been a week, and people have already commented to me, "Well, maybe you should go out and get a job." 

I know they mean well.  And in a weak moment, if I weren't so "weak" physically right now, I might be tempted by it. 

But thanks to Lorrie's MP3, I remember that I'm "building a wall" and am too busy to come down!  She mentioned how Nehemiah was invited to "come down" by some important Arab men, but instead, he said, "...I am doing a great work and I cannot come down..." (Neh. 6:3).  I need to keep the vision of the great work God has for me here at home regardless of the chaos or temptation surrounding me!

Another MP3 that Lorrie made available for The Gabby Moms is "Attitude Adjustments".  I haven't even really gotten a chance to listen to it yet, because I was still processing all the information from being a QUEEN!

I am defintely going to listen to it, however.  I know my attitude is correct, but maybe it will help me point out what attitudes others need to adjust!  Pardon me now, while I go pull this log out of my own eye! (Matt. 7:3-5)

HOW ABOUT A GIVEAWAY!!

Now for the really fun part!  Mrs. Lorrie Flem is making one MP3 available as a giveaway.  Not only will it be free, but it will be one of your own choice.  That's right!  You can choose one of these I mentioned or another one of your choice.  Trust me.  You can't make a poor choice.

Here’s how to enter: (please complete all in ONE comment-one entry per person)



1. Click here to chose the MP3 file you’d like to win


2.  Go to www.TheGabbyMoms.com and post a comment on which one you’ve chosen. (The link for comments is under the Facebook and Twitter icons.) 


3.  Make sure to also comment that you found out about it from me.  (Betsy or MrsPriceisRight)


4. Leave your contact email.  After all, I think you would want to know if you win, right? :-)

5. Winner will be chosen on Saturday, June 18th via random.org.  You will need to claim your prize within 48 hours or an alternate winner will be selected.



I recieved these MP3s free in exchange for my honest opinion.  No other compensation was provided.

John Piper - God cares about your body

I have had my share of health issues.  It can really make homemaking and homechooling challenging.  I know of many other moms out there who have it even worse than I do.  This really blessed and encouraged me to go on.  God cares about my body, but he cares infinitely more about my eternity.  Thanks for the reminder, John Piper.

As the family goes, so goes the economy

As the family goes, so goes the economy
Posted By Jennie Chancey on May 30, 2011



From Mercatornet:

As we know, the family in western countries is not going very well. In its introduction the FRC report points out that people have a reduced capacity for the intimate social relationships that marriage demands.


Most American parents cannot stand each other enough to raise the children they have brought into existence. In 2008, only 45 percent of American seventeen-year-olds were in a family headed by their biological parents, leaving them weaker in their relational capacities than prior generations. The numbers are lowest among African-Americans, where only 17 percent of seventeen-year-olds have spent childhood in an intact family. Among Asian Americans the intact family is strongest, but even for them it is only 62 per cent.


Some people claim that family breakdown and the rise of cohabitation is nothing more than growing pains experienced as the family changes and becomes more diverse. Laws, social policy and the economy have to catch up with the evolution of the family, they say.


In sharp contention with that view is the title of the report: “Marriage and Economic Well-Being: The Economy of the Family Rises or Falls with Marriage”. Authors Patrick F Fagan, Andrew J Kidd and Henry Potrykus have analysed federal data and academic studies and demonstrate their case convincingly: the family based on a lasting marriage (the “intact married family”) outperforms other sexual partnering structures — by a mile.


Read the full piece HERE.



Intentional Training

Intentional Training
From Raising Homemakers
by Christin on April 23, 2011 in Training Ground for Mature Adult Character


Some of you, [myself included] were probably not raised in the training and knowledge of biblical womanhood. As a result, you often struggle with raising your own daughters in this knowledge simply because you don’t know how.

You don’t know where to begin, how to introduce it, what resources to use. But you know what? There are more resources out there for help in this area than you might think. And perhaps you might be over-thinking the situation as a whole? I know I do.

Your home is a training ground for your children–daughters in particular. Your first priority is not to your home, but to your children. But, since your home cannot go neglected, how about meshing the two together?

Your daughter needs to learn laundry skills and organizational skills, among others. Sometimes children are naturally inclined to do well at these things, and sometimes they’re not.

You should set aside intentional time to teach your daughters those skills with which she struggles with. It will be much less frustrating for the both of you if you take the time to train and be certain she knows your expectations.

In addition to these tangible skills, you can [and should] be intentional about training your daughter in godly character. Often we rely too much on waiting for “teachable moments” before we train our daughters in godly character. Why wait until it becomes a problem when you can prevent [or minimize] the problem? These are questions I often ask myself.

I want to encourage you to begin being intentional about training your daughter(s). Everything from character training to homemaking skills. There are many very good resources out there to help you with this. Some are free, some are not (but well worth the investment, I assure you).

The concept is simple. Putting it into action is the challenge.

• Choose a skill or trait and set out to work on it for a day or a week or a month. However long you think it needs to be “worked in” to your daughters life for it to become more apart of who she is. I suggest beginning with something that she can succeed at fairly quickly. It will motivate and encourage her (and you) to move forward and begin a new skill or character trait.
• Create a calendar with the training items listed on it so you know what you will be working on. Plan no more than a month in advance simply because life can easily change things. I like to focus on one skill or trait for at least one week.
• Write out a plan to put the training into action. What will she do? What is your role? Write down some encouraging scriptures or quotes to spur you both on.

You can look into these resources to help you:

*Home Ec 101 {website}


*Future Christian Homemakers {e-book}


*Beautiful Girlhood by Karen Andreola


*The Kings Daughter by J. White


*Polished Cornerstones by Doorposts

*Proverbs for Parenting by Barbara Decker


For more resources, you can view the “Recommended Resources” page, here on Raising Homemakers.




By Christin, Joyful Mothering

Prioritizing Your Priorities

A great article about priorities from http://raisinghomemakers.com.  It's very encouraging to me and hopefully to you as well.

Prioritizing Your Priorities



by Veronica on April 22, 2011 in Faithfulness


As a Christian woman, wife, mother, and homemaker, if I were to ask you to identify your priorities, you would probably create a list that ranks each area in order of importance. Maybe it would look something like this:

God
Husband
Children
Home
Friends, Ministry, Hobbies, Career, etc…


But, what if then I asked you rearrange this list to accurately reflect how much time was spent on each of these priorities over the course of a given day.

My revised “list” might look a little more like this:

• As a homeschooling mom, my daughter receives the majority of my time and attention each day.
• The care and keeping of my home also requires a decent share of my time and energy each day…to prevent the dishes from taking over the kitchen, or to keep everyone in clean, presentable clothing.
• My husband is a full-time pastor…who is currently working 2 jobs. There are days when I hardly see him…much less spend time talking to him.
• And, although I work to maintain a consistent habit of time in God’s Word and in prayer each day… There are those days when the demands of motherhood, or life in ministry seem to take over. And, my relationship with the Lord appears to take a proverbial “back seat.”

And, this has the potential to be an extremely discouraging exercise…


Because, in the trenches of everyday life, the amount of time that we devote to each individual priority is not always directly proportionate to its position in the hierarchal list above. As a mom with a young child, a home to care for, and a husband in full-time ministry, the amount of time that I actually give to each area can often seem rather disproportionate!


“A more practical approach to priorities may be viewing life as a ‘comprehensive unified whole.’ This concept suggests that God has called women to fulfill multiple responsibilities and roles (wife, mother, daughter, homemaker, community servant). Therefore, she should avoid compartmentalizing her life into the spiritual and secular. Thus, she avoids measuring the success of maintaining priorities solely by the amount of time given to them on a daily basis…Maintaining priorities means fulfilling all the obligations that God has uniquely and specifically called the Wise Woman to accomplish…” (Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God, pg. 131)


This perspective has been a game changer for me!


I like schedules and routines. (Probably a little too much!) I am a “task-oriented” person. I want to be efficient and diligent in all that I have to do in a given day. And, while that is not necessarily a bad thing, the usual result is that I often find myself getting frustrated with “interruptions” that mess up my plans. Sadly though, these perceived “interruptions” often come in the form of people who most need my attention (my husband, or my daughter).


But, my friend, Donna Morley points out that,


“there are two types of interruptions. One distracts us from what we should be doing; the other delays us, merely postponing our progress. Distractions jeopardize our chance to reach our goal, while delays merely grant us unexpected opportunities.” (Choices That Lead to Godliness, pg. 102)


When we see our life as a “comprehensive unified whole” we can stop evaluating our priorities (and by extension, our “success” or “failure” in each area) by the amount of time given to each endeavor. Instead we can see how the practical, daily outworking of our priorities overlap, and work together… Each one directly impacting each of the other areas!


And, we have no idea what the Lord has in store for us (and those around us) when we see choose to see the unexpected, the interruptions, and the delays as opportunities rather than distractions!
———
Veronica @ A Quiet Heart

Nancy Leigh and a thought from me!

Never Alone Friday, April 8, 2011

Did you play more video games at work today?”

“No, my boss was looking over my shoulder all day.”

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When someone’s watching you, it has a way of affecting your behavior. We tend to be better behaved when we’re with other people than when we’re alone. But the apostle Paul reminds us that we’re never truly alone. In 1 Timothy 5 he says, “I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions.”


In other words, Jesus is watching. God is watching, and angels are watching. That should encourage us to obey.

So the next time you find yourself alone and you’re tempted to sin, remember that you’re not alone. Even when it seems like no one else is around, you’re still accountable to God. And He sees everything. In fact, that's what it means to live in the fear of the Lord.
______________________________________

Here's a few of my thoughts after reading this.  I hope it might encourage you, too.

The fact that, "Jesus is watching, God is watching, and angels are watching," should not only encourage us to obey, but encourage us to keep on keeping on. 

One thing that those who work out of the home get is affirmation or feedback.  Even if you don't get promotions or raises, you still get a paycheck at the end of the pay period showing that you did do something. 

At home, however, what we get accomplished is not always noticed.  Sure, sometimes you get a "thank you" or "dinner was yummy."  On the whole, however, at the end of the day, your husband may not notice what you did or didn't do.  Your children may not notice what you did or didn't do.  Let's face it, by the end of the day, you may not notice what you did or didn't do. 

BUT GOD NOTICES!

Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Divine Interruptions--Nancy Leigh DeMoss

January 7, 2011


Divine Interruptions

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Sometimes we need to ask God to keep us from distractions during our devotional times.

“Jesus got up, left the house, and went off to a solitary place." (Ding) "The dryer’s done. No . . . I think it can wait. Let’s see . . . 'Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: "Everyone is looking for you."’”  (Phone ring.) “Uhhh. Maybe it’s an emergency. (ring) No, keep reading. ‘Let us go somewhere else (ring) to the nearby villages (ring) so I . . .'”

Nancy: But sometimes an interruption may be God-sent.

“Mommy, what are you doing?”
“Well, come here. Let me show you. See, I’m reading about Jesus.”

Nancy: Ask God for discernment. Sometimes an interruption is actually an opportunity from Him.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Jochabed: Protecting the Lives of Your Children

Another great Home School Heartbeat from HSLDA.

Jochabed: Protecting the Lives of Your Children

Volume 101, Program 28
12/22/2010


Have you been accused of being an overprotective mother? Chairman Michael Farris talks about the spiritual power of a mother’s protection today on Home School Heartbeat.


Michael Farris:


Mothers through the ages have looked at their babies and imagined a bright future. Anything is possible for their child. But moms know instinctively that their babies will need protective care in order to reach that great potential hidden beneath their helpless little exterior.


All Christian moms are accused at times of being too protective of their children. This charge is leveled at homeschooling moms fairly frequently. Moms, don’t let the hecklers get you down. Your protective instinct comes from God.


One biblical mother changed the future for the whole nation of Israel by protecting her son. That mother was Jochebed, the mother of Moses. She saw that her son was a fine child, and she made haste to protect him from Pharaoh’s decree of death for all Israelite babies.


Today our culture lays death at the door of our children by offering them sexual immorality, godlessness, and perversity on a Hollywood-style platter. Mothers are right to protect their children from such fare. Repeated exposure to ungodliness in living color can desensitize our children to sin, confusing them about God’s view on these issues.


We all face an extremely degraded culture. Protecting our children from the extremes, which the world all too readily accepts, is a necessary reality for every mother who envisions a bright future for her own precious child.


I’m Mike Farris.

Counter Cultural Mom: From the archives: Is Wiping Noses Spiritual?

The Counter Cultural Mom shared a post from her archives.  I think it's a big encouragement and great reminder, so I wanted to share it here.

Counter Cultural Mom: From the archives: Is Wiping Noses Spiritual?

A High and Holy Calling

Leslie Basham: Nancy Leigh DeMoss says women can nurture life in a variety of ways.



Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Childless women whether married or single can do so much to support the parenting ministry of others in the Body of Christ.


Leslie Basham: Nancy doesn’t know we’re using this story, but it illustrates the point perfectly. It comes from the co-author of Lies Young Women Believe, Dannah Gresh. She was visiting Nancy’s home while they were preparing to write the book together.


Dannah Gresh: I’ve been given this picture into Nancy’s quiet life, her private life. She is the same woman if not a deeper woman in quiet. When she talks about true womanhood and says that a woman should be hospitable, it would be easy for her as a single woman not to have to do that. But she’s had me sleep over at her home once, and she tucked me into bed with a prayer. That’s mentoring and mothering and nurturing at its best in a quiet place where nobody else sees it and nobody else needs to know.


When she’s had groups of us over for dinner, she’ll take time the night before to research what our names mean to make placards and to speak truth into our hearts, which is again a very mothering and nurturing thing to do. So what she’s teaching, she’s living.


Leslie Basham: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for Friday, June 25.


Thousands of women have added their names to the True Woman Manifesto. You can read it and add your name to it at ReviveOurHearts.com. That document includes this line:


Children are a blessing from God; women are uniquely designed to be bearers and nurturers of life whether it be their own biological or adopted children or other children in their sphere of influence.


Nancy’s been teaching through the True Woman Manifesto in several series this year, and she’ll focus on this important statement today.


Nancy Leigh DeMoss: I’m holding in my hand the May 3, 2010 issue of Time Magazine. You may have seen this. The cover says in big letters, THE PILL, talking about the 50th anniversary of the Pill. And the feature article in this issue was written by Nancy Gibbs. It’s called “Love, Sex, Freedom and the Paradox of the Pill.”


Let me just read the first part of that article. She says,


There's no such thing as the Car or the Shoe or the Laundry Soap. But everyone knows the Pill, whose FDA approval 50 years ago rearranged the furniture of human relations in ways that we've argued about ever since. . . .


Today more than 100 million women around the world [that figure boggled my brain] start their day with this tiny tablet.


There’s a lot of very helpful research and background history in this article if you want to know some more about the background. Let me just read a couple quotes from it.


In 1960 the typical American woman had 3.6 children. [I don’t know how you have 3.6 children, but I think that’s on average.] By 1980 [20 years later], the number had dropped below 2. [Which, by the way, is below replacement rate for a culture.]


For the first time, more women identified themselves as workers than as homemakers. "There is a straight line between the Pill and the changes in family structure we now see," says National Organization for Woman president Terry O’Neill, "with 22% of women earning more than their husbands. In 1970, 70% of women with children under 6 were at home; 30% worked. [They all worked but 30% worked outside the home.] Now that's roughly reversed."


Dr. Al Mohler from Southern Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky was quoted in the article. And he said,


The ability to control human reproduction has done more to reorder life than any event since Adam and Eve ate the apple. Go back a hundred years. The idea that you’d have adults who’d intend to have very active sex lives without any respect to the likelihood of children didn’t exist. And it’s now unexceptional.


So today it’s just a given that there can be an active sex life without any consideration of the likelihood of children.


Dr. Mohler in his blog commenting on this Time piece, this feature article said,


The idea that sex would be severed from child bearing is a very modern concept and a concept made meaningful only by the development of the Pill and its successor birth control technologies. The severing of this relationship represents a quantum change in human life and relationships, not to mention morality (from his 4/26/10 blog).


Now, it’s not my intent in this program to talk about the Pill or birth control, contraception. That is not the issue that we’re talking about today. We’re looking at the True Woman Manifesto though and it’s just interesting that this article appeared at the time that I was preparing for this series where we come to this point in the manifesto that says,


Children are a blessing from God; women are uniquely designed to be bearers and nurturers of life whether it be their own biological or adopted children or other children in their sphere of influence.


And as is true with so many areas of life, the trajectory that the world is on is moving right directly away from the trajectory of Scripture, the worldview of Scripture. And again, please don’t quote me on this program as drawing any conclusions about the Pill. That’s not the point here. The point is that in the last 50 years or so there has been a concerted move away from women having children or delaying childbearing until they’re really past their most effective time to have children.

These trends have had consequences. Thinking has consequences. Ideas have consequences. And the consequences within our culture have been significant in ways that perhaps you’ve never even thought about.


But what I want to do is just take us to God’s way of thinking because the best way to combat the darkness is to turn on the light. And the best way to combat things that aren’t true is to show people what is true. I think sometimes we Christians are just thought of as being negative, as being against this or against that. Certainly, we need to be against sin, and we need to hate the devil, and we need to hate deception.


But it’s the truth that is more powerful than lies. So I just think by educating women in God’s Word, God’s truth, God’s ways of thinking, then the lights start to go on and things start to click.


A woman came to me before this session and she thanked me for the last session where we talked about children being a blessing. She had tears streaming down her cheeks as she said, “I have three children, but I have not considered my children always a blessing.” Now, I know there are moments in every mother’s life when blessing isn’t the word you would use to describe your children.


But she said, “Thank you so much for helping me see that my children really are a blessing." And then she said something really interesting. She said, “My children make me impatient.” Now I knew what she meant, but I just took a moment there in that conversation to remind her what we all need to be reminded of whether we think it’s our children that make us impatient or our co-workers or our laptops, whatever.


I said, “You know, really it’s not your children who make you impatient. The fact is, you are impatient. God knows that’s in your heart and He loves you enough to bring circumstances into your life (in her case it’s three children) who squeeze you and bring to the surface what’s inside you so that you can see that you really are impatient so that God can change you, so He can sanctify you.”


So I said, “That’s why your children are a blessing because they help you see areas of your life that need to be changed.” And of course, I wasn’t telling her anything she didn’t already know. But that’s how we need to remind each other to think about even the challenge of children, that God uses this in a sanctifying way in our lives.


Now, I’m getting ahead of myself. I want us to think just for a moment about the first mother. Genesis 3:20 tells us that "the man called his wife’s name Eve." Now he had already called her woman. He was man; she was woman. But he had a proper name, Adam, and he gave her her proper name, Eve.


He called his wife’s name Eve. Have you ever wondered why? I mean, did he go through a book of 20,000 names? Well, there weren’t any books on naming your wife, and they didn’t need books on naming your baby at that point because there were no babies. So why did he come up with this name? Well, the Scripture tells us. He called his wife’s name Eve "because she was the mother of all living" (verse 20).


Now if you’re using as I do the English Standard Version of the Bible, there’s a little marginal note that says Eve sounds like the Hebrew for life-giver and resembles the word for living. So he called his wife something that reminds us of life-giving, of living. She is the mother of all living.


When you think about Adam naming his wife life-giver, living, it’s a statement of faith that Adam is making in the promises and the redeeming love of God. You say how so? Adam and Eve had just made this fatal choice for which God had said the consequence would be what? Death. "In the day that you eat you will surely die" (Genesis 2:17). Yet Adam gives his wife a name that highlights life and her calling to be a life-giver.


What is that saying? You see, God is going to mercifully allow Eve and women subsequent to her to give birth to children who will continue the human race. So God has said, “You have sinned. You will die.” And yet God has made this provision through childbearing for there to be subsequent generations. For the woman who had brought death to the human race, the woman and Adam, to now be givers of life to the human race.


God has made a provision for this woman and for her offspring to have eternal life. Yes, the wages of sin is death. But from the very beginning, from before creation, God had already made plans for life to eclipse death through Christ and His sacrifice on our behalf.


Now Adam and Eve couldn’t have told you that whole story at that time. They only had tiny, little glimpses of it. But now we see the story. We look back on what they were looking forward to. We see that this was a statement of grace. This was a statement of faith that Eve will be the mother of all living, that though we’ve sinned and though there is death, God has made provision so that we can have life.


So even in the naming of the first woman, there’s a hint of the gospel, a hint of what we can experience through Christ and a reminder that being a life-giver for a woman is a high and a holy calling. We need to recalibrate our thinking. Now 50 or 100 years ago what I’m saying would have been “duh.” Everybody understands this. But today, it’s really a counter-cultural way of thinking that mothering, that bearing and nurturing life, is a high and holy calling in the will of God.


All through Scripture you see mothers given a place of honor. You see God’s heart for women to be childbearers. I love that verse in Psalm 113:9 that says, “He gives the barren woman a home making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the LORD!” God’s saying there’s something to be celebrated when women give birth, when women have children, when women make homes.


Now as we’re going to see, there are different ways that God allows different women to do that. But I don’t want to overlook the obvious physical way. None of us would be here if some woman would have not said, “I am willing to be a bearer and nurturer of life, to have a baby.” And physically we see women are uniquely and intentionally designed by God to be bearers and nurturers of life. Our bodies are designed physiologically to conceive and carry children.


Let me just state the obvious. Men cannot have babies. And women are designed physiologically to nourish and nurture their babies through the pregnancy. I read this about child bearing: “Women’s bodies,” this one author said, “tend to store up fat.” Now, we don’t like storing up fat. “Women’s bodies tend to store up fat in order to nourish babies both during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. This is your body’s way of protecting you and your baby from famine.”1 So thank the Lord for fat deposits! Right?


Women are uniquely designed to have children. They are uniquely designed to nurture them once they are born. There’s a God given capacity to feed, to nurse them with your own milk, nurturing. It’s a picture of all kinds of motherhood that God has equipped us to do by pouring our lives into others.


Even when we talk about discipleship and mentoring and Titus 2 mandate, it’s this concept of women being mothers, physical mothers, spiritual mothers. This whole concept of nurturing is something that is not as comfortable for many women today as it was at one time.


I saw a poll conducted by Women Today Online in which half the respondents said that they did not see themselves as nurturing in a way that comes naturally to them, half of the respondents.2


Now these things used to be axiomatic. They were givens. In the 1960s if you were a mother and a nurturer, a nurturing woman, you were honored. It was the right thing to do. It was accepted. There was a degree of respect recorded to that.


But in so many ways culture has stripped this from women. We’ve tried for now five decades to eradicate the things that God put into women’s lives or at best we have devalued so many of those things. We’ve allowed our selfish instincts to rule. And so many women today who have been put in positions of taking the man’s responsibility to provide don’t have energy or capacity left to nurture.


Now again, I’m trying to state general principles. Don’t let your mind go running off and say that I’m making absolute statements. I’m not saying no woman should be working outside her home. We’ve done other series where we’ve explored those kinds of issues. But I’m just saying if you look at the culture as a whole where women are feeling like they have to go into the workplace for their family to survive, one of the things that has done is exhausted women so that they’re not feeling the capacity to give their children the best hours of their day and to nurture them.


It’s no longer considered particularly desirable or meaningful for a woman to be a nurturer. What kind of occupation is that? Rather, we have “supermoms” who manage their children. They’re administrators extraordinaire. But the opposite of nurturing has been drilled into them. That has to be taught. That has to be trained today.


But let me just remind us if we go back to creation, God has wired and equipped us to be bearers and nurturers of life, physically and spiritually. The calling is to surrender to that work of the Spirit in our lives, as true women to say, "Lord, maybe nurturing doesn’t come naturally to me." Maybe you didn’t have a nurturing mother. You say, "I don’t know how to nurture."


It used to be that once a woman held a baby in her arms there was just something natural that really came out. Today, there are first-time moms, second, third-time moms, who hold these babies in their arms, and there’s no instinct there. It’s awkward; it’s not natural. Now, I’m not saying that having babies and nurturing babies is all easy, but it used to be more instinctive. But God has still put that within you. If you will let Him by His Spirit, He can bring out that God-created bent, that wiring to bear and nurture life.


You read this concept through the Scripture. I love that passage in 1 Thessalonians 2 which is not a passage on mothering particularly. But you see Paul describing his ministry to the Thessalonians. And he says, “We were gentle among you like a nursing mother taking care of her own children” (verse 7). He didn’t say we were gentle among you like a nursing dad taking care of his own children. Dads can’t nurse!


Now, I’m not saying men can’t be nurturing. But I’m saying there’s a unique sense in which God has equipped women to be nurturers. So Paul says, “We were gentle like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.” That just brings a picture to mind of how Paul ministered to these believers.


So he says, “So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us” (verse 8). Paul looked at how women were wired and he said, “That’s a quality there, that’s a quality I wanted to have in our ministry.”


Elisabeth Elliot wrote a book years ago—if you can get a hold of a copy of it, I don’t know if it’s still in print (it may be)—called Let Me Be A Woman. A fabulous book written I believe to her daughter if I’m not mistaken. And she said,


Every normal woman is equipped to be a mother. Certainly not every woman in the world is destined to make use of the physical equipment but surely motherhood, in a deeper sense, is the essence of womanhood. The body of every normal woman prepares itself repeatedly to receive and to bear. Motherhood requires self-giving, sacrifice, and suffering. It is a going down into death in order to give life.


We see it in the salmon swimming upstream, going back to their homes so they can lay their eggs and die. It’s a life of sacrifice. It’s a life of self-giving, of suffering at times in order to bear and nurture life.”


Now clearly your own children, those of you who have been blessed with children—the affirmation here is that children are a blessing. Those of you who have biological or adopted children clearly there’s a call to love them, to nurture them, to nourish their lives. But there are so many other ways, both those who have their own children and those who don’t, can be bearers and nurturers of life as they invest in other people’s children, in other lives.


I think of a woman I heard about recently who was not ever able to have children. She’s an older woman now who has shepherded hundreds of kids in her church’s youth department. I think of foster care and adoption and so many women who are loving children who are not their own flesh and blood.


So I don’t know what season of life you may be in. We have gray-haired women here. We have much younger women, women in every season of life—some empty nesters, some of you doing the hard work right now of little ones at home. I just want to say that whatever season of life you’re in would you ask God to give you a heart for bearing and nurturing life? Ask God to help you make room in your life for children.


You say, “I’ve got seven kids.” You need to make room in your heart for those children because sometimes you can start to resent those children that are such a blessing from the Lord. I know some of you are thinking it’s a hard season right now. Some of you are so sleep deprived you hardly know how to function. That’s where some like me need to come alongside and say, “Can I give you a break and let you and your husband get away, let you have a date night, let you as a single mom go spend some hours doing something you need to do for yourself? Let me take your kids.”


See what we can do to help lift the load of others, to invest in children and realize that as we do we are investing in the next generation. We’re passing the baton of faith on to the next generation.


There are women in this room who have prodigal children and your heart is so heavy for them. When I talk about children being a blessing, you’re just thinking about how they’ve broken your heart. Wouldn’t you love to have some other women in the Body of Christ come around and say, “I’m going to pray with you and for you and for that son or daughter who’s way far from the Lord, and I’m going to believe God with you to break through in their life”?


Sometimes you have to be willing to be in there for the long haul and say, “How can I pray for you? How can I encourage you in this season of life?” Children are a blessing from the Lord. What a privilege God has given us as women as He has uniquely designed us to be bearers and nurturers of life for His glory and for the advancement of His kingdom.


Leslie Basham: Nancy Leigh DeMoss has challenged every woman, even if you have no biological children, you can nurture life. That message was based on the True Woman Manifesto which you can read at ReviveOurHearts.com. The True Woman Manifesto was created in conjunction with the True Woman Conference. Earlier this year conference goers heard the Manifesto read and affirmed these statements by saying, “Yes Lord.”


Nancy, it really was a powerful moment.


Nancy: It was Leslie. And actually it was just one of many very powerful moments at that conference. A woman who attended the True Woman Conference earlier this year wrote to us afterwards and said, “I’m 26 years old and I didn’t realize how important my role of a wife and mom really is.” She was challenged to rethink her view of that calling at that conference. And she said in her note, “I’ll never forget this experience.”


We put in a lot of effort to make sure that the True Woman Conference is thoroughly biblical. Your Bible will be open all weekend. You’ll understand it better and know how to apply it to practical areas of your life, whatever season of life you may be in. It’s a great thing to be able to experience that teaching in the context of other women who are wanting to become true women of God.


So that’s why being at the conference is different than just listening to the messages on CD or reading the same material. I want you to experience a True Woman Conference for yourself as thousands of other women from all across this country and even other countries will be doing this fall.


So plan to join us in Indianapolis this September or come to Fort Worth in October. For more details and to get more information about group discounts, visit ReviveOurHearts.com.


Leslie Basham: Nancy’s going to continue leading us through the True Woman Manifesto next time. Please be back for Revive Our Hearts.


Revive Our Hearts is an outreach of Life Action Ministries.
All Scripture is taken from the English Standard Version.


1 http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct00p156.html

2 Stacey Wiebe. “Born to Nurture” – http://www.Womentodaymagazine.com