I asked my good friend, Tenderrlee Hughes, to write a piece for Autism Awareness Month. I really wanted her to share how her faith has played a role in being a mother of children on the Autism spectrum. Hope you're blessed.
As some of you may know, April is Autism Awareness month. I
am a struggling older single mom with two young adult children (out of four)
remaining at home who are both special needs: Asperger’s, autism, severe ADHD,
OCD, PDD-NOS, Bi-polar, learning disabilities. You name it, I probably deal
with it daily in my home!
I am 57 yrs old and with the Lord being my strength and my
portion, I have raised all of my children pretty much single-handedly, especially
the two youngest, Isaiah and Genesis, my two “special” kiddos.
Life, raising one child with special needs, let alone two,
is not for the fainthearted and is a life of sacrifices. Our “road” traveled
the last 23 years has been quite a rocky one: Frustration and tears over
sometimes not understanding my children and what they are thinking, what to do
about the extreme behavioral issues….. I
have asked myself numerous times, “How could ANYONE do this without the Lord
and survive?” As I have met many other parents of special needs children along
the way, through school, Special Olympics, and work, I have found the answer.
Without the Lord, most parents DON’T survive and end up deep in despair, find
mental health professionals and meds for themselves if not alcohol for their
comfort and escape.
I could go on and on about all the trials over time with
special needs children: the holes punched in the walls, the numerous IEP and
special education meetings at school, and many visits with teachers, and principals
because of outbursts or usually because of the constant bullying done to them….
and doctors and even police visits…..but….
The better part of all of this is what the LORD has done!
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| Tenderrlee, Genesis, and Isaiah |
I have always tried to make speaking to and about the Lord
and using God’s Word in our lives, as daily as our 3 meals a day. Isaiah, at
23, has had the greater struggle. He has only embraced his autism just in the
last couple of years and that because of the Lord in his life. I cannot even
begin to tell you the number of times he would tell me when he was in high
school, “Mom, I just want to wake up and be normal.” Because I have always
prayed with the children every night for as long as they can remember, we began
praying that one day, Isaiah would accept how God made him and want to be used
for whatever God wants, special needs and all.
Genesis, 22, has
always embraced who she is and made a decision to follow Christ when she was in
grade school. She is a bubbly one who
can talk the hind leg off a mule, but this girl has put my faith to shame at
times! I’ll give you the Reader’s Digest version of an example:
After nearly 10 years (including times of separation) of
living with a very verbally abusive husband, (the children’s stepfather), a
threat was made on my life, the police were called, then our family counselor
was called for a meeting the following night. The plan was for Isaiah &
Genesis to have their say about what happened, then they would be dismissed to
their rooms so the adults could get down to “brass tacks.” Isaiah had his brief
comment, then left. Genesis got up out of her seat and I cringed to think of
what she might say as she was so unpredictable. She looked right at him and
said, “Daddy, you are so mean and hateful to us….but I still love you.” Then she turned and walked away.
Autism and Faith collided.
I would like to think that I have been instrumental in
nurturing my special kiddos in the Lord. (And it definitely helps to have
wonderful support from older siblings and a great church family to assist in
that!) But it is Isaiah & Genesis who have helped ME grow in the Lord!
Tenderrlee
