Thoughtful Thursday--From Incomplete to Complete

Isn't it a nice feeling to have your act together? Don’t you just relish those times when you are on schedule and everything is complete? It’s such a great feat to have your house and family in order.  It is an accomplishment to have your surroundings and life being perfect and whole.  A real triumph, isn’t it?

No, seriously. I’m asking. I want to know since I’ve never experienced it!

In the first chapter of James, we are encouraged to be joyful when our faith is tried because this works endurance within us. This endurance then helps grow us to become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. I know that James was imparting important truth when he wrote these verses. Sometimes, however, I think we allow the small things to try our faith and to rob us from being perfect and complete and our neglect continues to keep us lacking.

Let me explain what I mean.

I have a terrible habit. When the toilet paper roll runs

out, I get the new roll out and…I set it on top of the empty roll. Yes, you read that correctly.  Instead of just putting the new roll on the toilet paper holder, I just set it on top. Then every time I go into the bathroom, I see that roll of toilet paper just lying there, and it saps some energy and contentment from me. I find myself lacking and incomplete by leaving those little things undone.

I walk by the load of clothes that needs to be washed. I think about those thank you notes that haven’t been written. I remember that I haven’t called my friend in California for over a month. I find the invitation for a birthday party that was last week. I kick the pile of magazines over that needed to be recycled. AND, I have an article due that I haven’t started to write!

Those kinds of things just make you sigh every time you see them or think of them. You look at them and know that things are incomplete. The things you think of which makes you think about what you’re lacking. It’s these little incompletes that rob us of serving our family completely without lacking.

If you noticed, most of the things that are incomplete usually aren’t that big of deal. That’s what is so strange. If the incompletes were a lot of effort or took a lot of time or money, it might be more understandable.  Instead, incompletes are usually small things, but it’s the small things which add up. A little lack here and a little lack there end up becoming a major deficit—not only in the things that need to be done but in our spirit as well.

Why do we let this deficit happen? I think it’s because we get tired. We become weary, and when you’re weary it’s often the small things that get overlooked or neglected. Shortcuts we take which end up piling up as undones. We need to remember not [to] grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Gal. 6:9).

I am ready to work on being more complete and lacking nothing.  Here are some ideas I’ve being putting into practice in regards to becoming more COMPLETE.

C—Complete, lacking nothing is a process. Remember no one has their act totally together this side of heaven. 

O—One thing at a time will do. Things don’t usually get left undone all at once.  Usually it’s one thing here and one thing there.  Completing them can be done one thing here and one thing there, too.

M—Make a list of incomplete things that need to be done as you think of them.  You’re less likely to forget or ignore them if the items are written down.

P—Pray. Ask God to remind you of all the little things and give you the energy and desire to do them.

L—Little things add up both negatively and positively. Do a several little things, and you’ll have made a big step in becoming more complete.

E—Erase some of the items.  I’ve been meaning to write some thank you notes since CHRISTMAS. I think it’s probably too late now and the sincere verbal thanks I gave them back then will have to do. Give yourself permission to take some things off your list.

T—Take inventory of the importance of each item. Some things really are worth more effort than others. If you have to choose between calling a sick friend or doing a page of scrapbooking from last July 4th, people should win every time.

E—Early is the best way to deal with many incompletes. Some items became more work or harder the longer you put it off. The earlier you deal with something that is undone the sooner you’ll be in the positive.

If you go into my bathroom right now, the toilet paper is on the roll, and the pile of magazines in the living room is no longer there. Each time I do an undone, it is one less thing I lack. I can relish becoming more complete in my roles as wife, mother, and daughter of the King. I now trust that I will reap what I sow if I don’t weary.  

Next will be the pile of laundry!

For Women Only--review and GIVEAWAY!!!

Thankfully, sometimes it easy to tell when God is trying to teach you something...

Like when the book in review for Gabby Moms is the same book in review for Blogging with Books.

It is obviously God's way of gently saying...PAY ATTENTION WOMAN!!

I actually read the earlier edition of For Women Only
and it was very informative and convicting. I did not think I would need to read it again. 

I was wrong.

Reading For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition was very informative and convicting AGAIN. It dusted off some things I learned previously and reinforced some thing I was doing correctly. It also convicted me again on somethings on which I need to continue to work.  

It also showed me what a blessing my husband is because he gives me credit for doing better than what I know I am doing, and he shows me more about himself than some men mentioned in the book.

Shaunti Feldhahn

For those you do not know about the book, Shaunti Feldhahn shares her findings about the inner-workings of men. Things men assume we know that we do not. Things that are part of how God made them.

She found all this out by doing a lot of research with thousands of men.

Do not let the word "research" scare you off. It is not a dull read at all. Shaunti does a great job of not only explaining her findings and what they mean but also of  helping us find applications. What good is knowledge without the wisdom to use it?

I also appreciate that while there is a lot of research put into this book, it does not come off as psychobabble. It is practical and Biblical.

Remember that husband I am blessed with having? He actually read For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition to help me with my review.

He found a few surprises out about me like listening does not mean fixing and security means different things to women than it does men. He personally was blessed by realizing that when the Bible says somethings are common to man that it really means somethings are common to man. He was not the only man to have certain issues or ideas.

Oh, and get this. For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition actually has a quick start guide! Is that book for men or what? 

We both totally recommend these books. It would be great for premarital counseling and for those of us married folks who want to continue to grow our relationship with our spouse.

Not only have they come out with the new editions, but also a DVD study which includes a men's study, a women's study, and a couple's study along with a leader's guide and a copy of each of the books. My husband is excited at the thought of the DVDs...men are visual you know!

In fact, here is a sample clip from one of the DVDs.


Now, here is the great news about the giveaways!
First, Lorrie Flem of Eternal Encouragement is giving away the whole DVD study set on her blog. 
Go HERE to enter that giveaway. (You bet your sweet bippy I entered.) Oh, Lorrie's giveaway ends Saturday, June 22, so hurry fast.
While there, make sure to sign up for the free online magazine at Eternal Encouragement.

Now, on to my giveaway!

There will be two prizes. 

• First place will win a copy of both For Women Only and For Men Only.
• Second place will win a only copy of For Women Only.
• Drawing is for US residents only.
• Drawing will end Sunday, June 30 at midnight.
• Winner will need to return my email within 48 hours of me contacting them or will forfeit the prize to another.

Okay, got it? Here's the Rafflecopter!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I received free copies of the books for me review from both the Gabby Moms and Blogging for Books.

Job's Wife--A Reality Check

I was honored this week to be a guest blogger over at Eternal Encouragement. It was definitely written from real life experience!! Please check it out!

My Ministry--A Gift of God's Grace

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God's grace, which was given me by the working of his power. (Ephesians 3:7, ESV)

When I read this verse, I thought about Paul's ministry and the challenges he faced.  I'll let him tell it in his own words.

Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. (2 Cor. 11:25-27, ESV)

Definitely sounds challenging.  Yet he believed being a minister to the Gentiles was a gift of God's grace. A minister is a servant or waiter. Most wouldn't consider a calling as a servant a great gift.  In fact, it's not just a gift but a gift of grace.  In other words, this gift is undeserved. He didn't even deserve to be a servant. 

Then I considered me.  I was made a minister to my family.  I serve my family.  I definitely face challenges in this ministry but thankfully none like Paul's!!  This role to minister to my family is a gift of God's grace.  I don't deserve to serve them, but God gifted me with this ministry.

Too often, the world tries to tell us that our roles as wife and mother are a curse or a trap.  Sometimes we believe them.  Instead, I'm going to choose to consider this ministry I have as a gift of God's grace.  Thanks for the gift, Father!

Linked to:

Proverbial Reading--Pro. 31:31

I mentioned on My Reading List that our adult Sunday School ladies were going through The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspectivewhich, of course, means reading Proverbs 31!  
I read through the passage everyday for a month a couple of years ago.  It was great!  In fact, it's why I started couponing!
I was reading it again, and the very last verse was convicting. (I know.  The whole thing can be convicting, but I'm choosing to focus on one convicting thing at a time!)


Proverbs 31:31 "Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates."

That's something I'm considering today as I teach my daughter, do the laundry, feed my family, dust the living room, etc.  Would the quality of the works I'm doing give me praise?  Praise is a very exciting word in the Hebrew.  It means "to shine, make a show, cause to celebrate, et al.  Would my dishes make me dance?  Would my clean potty cause a party?  Probably not, but I need to work as if it would.


And if I were given the fruit of my hands, would my hands be full or empty?  The Hebrew word hand here means an open hand indicating power, means, direction, etc.  Would the amount of effort, energy and focus I use warrant me having a gain or just getting by?


Well, that's what I was pondering and praying about.  It definitely made a difference as I worked my way through the day!


Linked to:

  

Proverbs 31 starting now

Some may have heard the role Proverbs 31 had in my start in couponing.  If you haven't, you can read it here.

One of the things that I noticed during my study of Proverbs 31 was “…She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12).  I noticed the word ALL.  Not just her married life, but ALL her life.

Doorposts had a great post recently about that very passage.
Check out Teaching Our Daughters to Do Their Husbands Good Now. 

Are you Exhausted, Irritable, and Overwhemed?



I actually did fall asleep reading
to my daughter last week!!

There was a hilarious movie back in the 70s in which the vixen lamented in her best Marlene Dietrich voice,

"...I'm tired. Tired of playing the game.  Ain't it a crying shame?  I'm tired..."

The whole thing is hysterical!!

But when you really feel that way...not so hilarious.  I know from personal experience and even my friends deal with it sometimes, as well.

So, I was excited when I found out my Gabby Mom review this month was a new video by Lorrie Flem entitled, "From Exhausted, Irritable, and Overwhelmed to an Energized and Fulfilled Woman of God."  It's a new resource from Eternal Encouragement.

Now that's an extreme makeover I need!

I figured it would be fun to share it with another mom who is in the trenches with me, so I invited a friend. 

The video is an hour long and FULL of meat.  Of course, it took us about 3 hours to watch it thanks to getting some cheesecake, children going in and out, making the speakers work, getting more cheesecake, and actually taking breaks to talk about what Lorrie just said.  I actually think it was beneficial to take breaks because there was so much information covered.

So, don't get exhausted while watching the video.  Take a break or two.

Now, if I attempted to share everything from this hour long video, it might make you feel overwhelmed, so I won't do that.  Lorrie takes you step-by-practical-step to find REAL REST.  The video comes with a viewers guide which also makes it easier to keep track of the steps Lorrie shares.

 

Usually, my reviews for Gabby Moms is all positive, but I do have a little warning.  I want to warn you so it doesn't make you irritable.

First of all, Lorrie has a heart for hope and encouragement.  That's why her ministry is called Eternal Encouragement.  She has sooooo many resources for so many of our day-in-day-out challenges and growth issues, and she wants to share that help and encouragement with us.

For that reason, throughout the video, Lorrie mentions other resources she has.  Her reasons are to help, but it kind of comes across a little "commercial-ly" and distracting.  But please remember, Lorrie is only trying to point out that Eternal Encouragement has resources that will help in many of the challenges we face.

My friend and I really enjoyed our afternoon with Lorrie Flem.  If you want some help in changing from "exhausted, irritable, and overwhelmed" to "an energized & fulfilled woman of God," just click HERE.  It's $19.97.

Watch it by yourself or grab a friend and enjoy fellowship with each other around the Word.  Cheesecake optional!



I received this product for free in exchange for my honest review.

Elisabeth Elliot on children and more

Last week, Revive Our Hearts with Nance Leigh DeMoss started a three day series with Elisabeth Elliot.  That godly woman shared many insights, of course, including the topics of being a wife, godly parenting, and just walking by faith.  I will link to all the days for your convenience.  It's not going to be wasted time as you can tell by quotes I copied.

Day One:  Read or Listen HERE
For parents to allow their children to be in control and not to lovingly make the children understand that the parents are the ones who have been given by God this responsibility, it creates a view of God that means we can run God.

Day Two: Read or Listen HERE
You’ve got to remember, whomever you marry, he’s a sinner. There isn’t anything else to marry.
Day Three: Read or Listen HERE
 I think older women not only have a tremendous privilege, but a very great responsibility to talk to younger women, to try to help them realize what a blessing it is that they are that age, and then to testify to them what a blessing it is to be this age.

Don't take a bath & other things I learned from 5 R's of Godly Womanhood

Don't take a bath.



That is only one  of the many pearls of wisdom I gained this month from listening to Godly Womanhood: The 5 R's for Homeschool Moms by Lorrie Flem.  I reviewed the first 2 R's of this Eternal Encouragement resource last month.  This month I gleaned from the last 3 R's which are Refine, Rejuvenate and Rest.

The set includes 5 MP3s and 5 e-books and is available for $24.97 HERE at Eternal Encouragement. 

Why don't you go purchase it now while I wait for you?

Back?

Good. 

While you were gone, I learned to view my housekeeping as a God given career and plan to improve it. 

That was definitely a challenge to me.  I've often used homeschooling as an excuse for my messy house.  In fact, a friend credits this fact to the safety of her home. Awhile back, they awoke to find their front door broken in. Nothing was taken, however. She thought nothing was stolen because the thieves didn't want to deal with the chaos in her living room!

True story.

But Lorrie challenged me to not accept where it is but to plan on improving my performance just like someone who works in a career outside of the home would do.

Then in Rejuvenate, Lorrie taught about CRIJ.  It can be a challenge to get all four elements together in my own obedience! When it comes to mija, well sometimes I might get CRI but no J, but on a really bad day I may only get a C.  Then sometimes, I don't know if because she's sanguine or because she's a blonde, but C and I go out the window leaving only an attempt at R and J.

I'm sure you'll understand better when you listen to Rejuvenate for yourself.


In Rest, I learned that for my rest tomorrow, I have to work today. Lorrie taught me there is a lot more to resting than just attempting to get time alone.
Which reminds me.

Don't take a bath.

I received a complimentary copy of the 5 R's of Godly Womanhood as part of The Gabby Moms in exchange for my honest review.

Prioritizing Your Priorities

A great article about priorities from http://raisinghomemakers.com.  It's very encouraging to me and hopefully to you as well.

Prioritizing Your Priorities



by Veronica on April 22, 2011 in Faithfulness


As a Christian woman, wife, mother, and homemaker, if I were to ask you to identify your priorities, you would probably create a list that ranks each area in order of importance. Maybe it would look something like this:

God
Husband
Children
Home
Friends, Ministry, Hobbies, Career, etc…


But, what if then I asked you rearrange this list to accurately reflect how much time was spent on each of these priorities over the course of a given day.

My revised “list” might look a little more like this:

• As a homeschooling mom, my daughter receives the majority of my time and attention each day.
• The care and keeping of my home also requires a decent share of my time and energy each day…to prevent the dishes from taking over the kitchen, or to keep everyone in clean, presentable clothing.
• My husband is a full-time pastor…who is currently working 2 jobs. There are days when I hardly see him…much less spend time talking to him.
• And, although I work to maintain a consistent habit of time in God’s Word and in prayer each day… There are those days when the demands of motherhood, or life in ministry seem to take over. And, my relationship with the Lord appears to take a proverbial “back seat.”

And, this has the potential to be an extremely discouraging exercise…


Because, in the trenches of everyday life, the amount of time that we devote to each individual priority is not always directly proportionate to its position in the hierarchal list above. As a mom with a young child, a home to care for, and a husband in full-time ministry, the amount of time that I actually give to each area can often seem rather disproportionate!


“A more practical approach to priorities may be viewing life as a ‘comprehensive unified whole.’ This concept suggests that God has called women to fulfill multiple responsibilities and roles (wife, mother, daughter, homemaker, community servant). Therefore, she should avoid compartmentalizing her life into the spiritual and secular. Thus, she avoids measuring the success of maintaining priorities solely by the amount of time given to them on a daily basis…Maintaining priorities means fulfilling all the obligations that God has uniquely and specifically called the Wise Woman to accomplish…” (Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God, pg. 131)


This perspective has been a game changer for me!


I like schedules and routines. (Probably a little too much!) I am a “task-oriented” person. I want to be efficient and diligent in all that I have to do in a given day. And, while that is not necessarily a bad thing, the usual result is that I often find myself getting frustrated with “interruptions” that mess up my plans. Sadly though, these perceived “interruptions” often come in the form of people who most need my attention (my husband, or my daughter).


But, my friend, Donna Morley points out that,


“there are two types of interruptions. One distracts us from what we should be doing; the other delays us, merely postponing our progress. Distractions jeopardize our chance to reach our goal, while delays merely grant us unexpected opportunities.” (Choices That Lead to Godliness, pg. 102)


When we see our life as a “comprehensive unified whole” we can stop evaluating our priorities (and by extension, our “success” or “failure” in each area) by the amount of time given to each endeavor. Instead we can see how the practical, daily outworking of our priorities overlap, and work together… Each one directly impacting each of the other areas!


And, we have no idea what the Lord has in store for us (and those around us) when we see choose to see the unexpected, the interruptions, and the delays as opportunities rather than distractions!
———
Veronica @ A Quiet Heart

Nancy Leigh and a thought from me!

Never Alone Friday, April 8, 2011

Did you play more video games at work today?”

“No, my boss was looking over my shoulder all day.”

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When someone’s watching you, it has a way of affecting your behavior. We tend to be better behaved when we’re with other people than when we’re alone. But the apostle Paul reminds us that we’re never truly alone. In 1 Timothy 5 he says, “I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions.”


In other words, Jesus is watching. God is watching, and angels are watching. That should encourage us to obey.

So the next time you find yourself alone and you’re tempted to sin, remember that you’re not alone. Even when it seems like no one else is around, you’re still accountable to God. And He sees everything. In fact, that's what it means to live in the fear of the Lord.
______________________________________

Here's a few of my thoughts after reading this.  I hope it might encourage you, too.

The fact that, "Jesus is watching, God is watching, and angels are watching," should not only encourage us to obey, but encourage us to keep on keeping on. 

One thing that those who work out of the home get is affirmation or feedback.  Even if you don't get promotions or raises, you still get a paycheck at the end of the pay period showing that you did do something. 

At home, however, what we get accomplished is not always noticed.  Sure, sometimes you get a "thank you" or "dinner was yummy."  On the whole, however, at the end of the day, your husband may not notice what you did or didn't do.  Your children may not notice what you did or didn't do.  Let's face it, by the end of the day, you may not notice what you did or didn't do. 

BUT GOD NOTICES!

Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Who is Supposed to Serve?

Friday, March 18 2011

Who is Supposed to Serve?


Nancy Leigh DeMoss: In the past couple of decades, there’s been a movement challenging men to love and serve their wives. Every woman I know is very encouraged when we see God turning men’s hearts toward the Lord and their families.


We need to remember that God didn’t make men to be helpers to their wives. God made the wife to be a helper to her husband. In today’s evangelical world, it’s “politically correct” to challenge men to go home and serve their wives. It’s not so popular to talk to women about their responsibility to serve their husbands.

If we as women focus on what we think we deserve—what men “ought” to do for us—we’re likely to get hurt and resentful when our expectations aren’t fulfilled.

If your husband’s learning to serve you, that’s great. But remember, you’re never more like Jesus than when you’re serving other people.

With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.