The Lies of Full-time Christian Ministry

My friend Cindy at For One Another wrote a great article which I think is spot on! Wanted to share it with you.

The Lies of Full-time Christian Ministry

Many years ago I attended a high school graduation at a Christian School.  A young lady from the church I attended was graduating. I overheard this comment about her as I was walking into the building........

"Isn't it great that she is going to go into full-time ministry?"

My first thought as a wife and stay-at-home-mom was...."What?  If she was going to marry and have kids she's not in 'full-time ministry'?"

Sadly, this person believes the lies.

A few months ago a new wife asked for prayer because she felt that she wasn't serving God because.....

 she wasn't in full-time ministry

Sadly, she believes the lies.

Recently someone told me that they couldn't pursue a serious relationship that may lead to marriage because.......

they wanted to go into full-time ministry

Sadly, this person believes the lies.

Do you believe the lies too?  

Read the rest HERE.

Thoughtful Thursday--From Incomplete to Complete

Isn't it a nice feeling to have your act together? Don’t you just relish those times when you are on schedule and everything is complete? It’s such a great feat to have your house and family in order.  It is an accomplishment to have your surroundings and life being perfect and whole.  A real triumph, isn’t it?

No, seriously. I’m asking. I want to know since I’ve never experienced it!

In the first chapter of James, we are encouraged to be joyful when our faith is tried because this works endurance within us. This endurance then helps grow us to become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. I know that James was imparting important truth when he wrote these verses. Sometimes, however, I think we allow the small things to try our faith and to rob us from being perfect and complete and our neglect continues to keep us lacking.

Let me explain what I mean.

I have a terrible habit. When the toilet paper roll runs

out, I get the new roll out and…I set it on top of the empty roll. Yes, you read that correctly.  Instead of just putting the new roll on the toilet paper holder, I just set it on top. Then every time I go into the bathroom, I see that roll of toilet paper just lying there, and it saps some energy and contentment from me. I find myself lacking and incomplete by leaving those little things undone.

I walk by the load of clothes that needs to be washed. I think about those thank you notes that haven’t been written. I remember that I haven’t called my friend in California for over a month. I find the invitation for a birthday party that was last week. I kick the pile of magazines over that needed to be recycled. AND, I have an article due that I haven’t started to write!

Those kinds of things just make you sigh every time you see them or think of them. You look at them and know that things are incomplete. The things you think of which makes you think about what you’re lacking. It’s these little incompletes that rob us of serving our family completely without lacking.

If you noticed, most of the things that are incomplete usually aren’t that big of deal. That’s what is so strange. If the incompletes were a lot of effort or took a lot of time or money, it might be more understandable.  Instead, incompletes are usually small things, but it’s the small things which add up. A little lack here and a little lack there end up becoming a major deficit—not only in the things that need to be done but in our spirit as well.

Why do we let this deficit happen? I think it’s because we get tired. We become weary, and when you’re weary it’s often the small things that get overlooked or neglected. Shortcuts we take which end up piling up as undones. We need to remember not [to] grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Gal. 6:9).

I am ready to work on being more complete and lacking nothing.  Here are some ideas I’ve being putting into practice in regards to becoming more COMPLETE.

C—Complete, lacking nothing is a process. Remember no one has their act totally together this side of heaven. 

O—One thing at a time will do. Things don’t usually get left undone all at once.  Usually it’s one thing here and one thing there.  Completing them can be done one thing here and one thing there, too.

M—Make a list of incomplete things that need to be done as you think of them.  You’re less likely to forget or ignore them if the items are written down.

P—Pray. Ask God to remind you of all the little things and give you the energy and desire to do them.

L—Little things add up both negatively and positively. Do a several little things, and you’ll have made a big step in becoming more complete.

E—Erase some of the items.  I’ve been meaning to write some thank you notes since CHRISTMAS. I think it’s probably too late now and the sincere verbal thanks I gave them back then will have to do. Give yourself permission to take some things off your list.

T—Take inventory of the importance of each item. Some things really are worth more effort than others. If you have to choose between calling a sick friend or doing a page of scrapbooking from last July 4th, people should win every time.

E—Early is the best way to deal with many incompletes. Some items became more work or harder the longer you put it off. The earlier you deal with something that is undone the sooner you’ll be in the positive.

If you go into my bathroom right now, the toilet paper is on the roll, and the pile of magazines in the living room is no longer there. Each time I do an undone, it is one less thing I lack. I can relish becoming more complete in my roles as wife, mother, and daughter of the King. I now trust that I will reap what I sow if I don’t weary.  

Next will be the pile of laundry!

Thoughtful Thursday--UGH! My daughter is growing up!!

This is basically a cathartic piece with some hope of encouraging comments from those of you who are going through or have gone through this before.

My daughter is getting older and I'm not sure if I like it (or ready for it, for that matter!). I will present the evidence.

First, she's starting to smell. I remember being a classroom teacher and having those fourth, fifth, or sixth graders come back from recess. Ooowee. Smelly little bodies.
Well, that is starting to be mija. Sometimes she will come up and throw herself around me in a hug and there it is. A big whiff of BO.

Being me and always trying to keep her prepared for the upcoming changes in her body, I mentioned that deodorant will be in her future.
Well, that future was Sunday morning! She asked to put on deodorant before church. {sigh}

Second, she's having dreams about boys. I woke her up the other day and she said, "I want to finish my dream." Well, turns out the dream was about "Jack", a character on a TV show she watches. Well, at least he is a nice looking kid, so she's got some taste, but really? Dreaming about a boy?

Third, she keeps looking for a reason to wear a beginner bra. Her cousin passes on clothes to mija and the last batch contained some beginner bras. Now to tell you the truth, I know they are coming. I had the occasion to rub some essential oils on her chest and I could feel a different texture in the chest area, but definitely nothing "developing" as it were. She's diligent in looking however.

You know I go harness free as much as possible, so putting a bra on her is going to wait as long as possible.

Fourth, she wants to start her period. You read that right. Even after living her whole life with a mom with "lady issues" she wants to start. I can't remember what had proceeded the comment, but last week she sat in the middle of the floor and said, "I wish I would start my period, so I could be a woman." This statement was accentuated by a flourish of curvy arm movements demonstrating a woman's shape. Really?

I'm thankful that she understands what a period is and is not afraid of it. HOWEVER, I had to comment that while a period might mean you body was turning into a woman, the heart and mind had to develop a lot more before you could become a godly woman.

Do you see what I mean? This is crazy stuff. And I haven't even mentioned the attitude!

Here, I'm posting some pictures back when she was young and innocent.


 
There, I feel better now.

Any advice or consolation you can leave, would be wonderful!

Thoughtful Thursday--Miley Cyrus and a Mother: What They Have in Common

My friends definitely questioned my topic. Miley Cyrus? Should we really compare ourselves to Miley Cyrus? Sure there are others who would be better to emulate. 

Of course!

I did not say we should strive to be like Miley Cyrus. It is just, unfortunately, there are things we sometimes have in common with her. See if you agree:

T—Tongue. Miley has become known for sticking out her tongue. We moms may not stick out tongues out, but we moms definitely sometimes use it to say things that are not as loving as it could be. (Proverbs 31:26)

W—Wrecking Ball. Miley sure has taken a wrecking ball to her once bright future. Sometimes we take a wrecking ball to our children with our words and actions. This is especially true when are frustrated or down right angry. (Romans 15:1-2)

E—Entertainment. Miley grew up in the entertainment industry ever since her dad had an “achy-breaky heart” back in the 90s. Sometimes we allow entertainment to become a way of life. Because of our choices (or lack of choices) we find our children quoting Harry Potter more than the Scripture. They may spend more time beating their high score than working on their AWANA verses. How hours are spent on Doctor Who instead of listening to Christian music or a recorded message? (Philippians 4:8)

R—Religious. Yup, Miley is a Christian supposedly. She was baptized, attending church regularly, wore a purity ring, et al ad nauseum. Now look at her. There is no evidence of spiritual fruit. Most of us say we are Christians; that we have a relationship with Christ. While we may not go to the extremes Miley has, sometimes we find ourselves leaving behind our spiritual relationship for a religious facade which provides no support for our children or ourselves. (Ephesians 4:17-24)

K—Kid. Miley is still a kid. There is nothing mature in her actions or attitudes. Having a major focus on only oneself and one’s desire is just like a kid, and Miley does it big time. The difference is her selfish emphasis are all based in, well, very base things. Moms may not go Miley’s extreme, but sometimes we can be pretty self-focused like a kid. Whether it is our “right to a full night’s sleep” or our “need for me time,” we sometimes focus on ourselves more than we should. (I Corinthians 14:20)

Okay, so it is only sometimes mothers are like Miley Cyrus…thankfully. I told you we definitely do not strive to be like her, but when we do not strive to be like Jesus, we sometimes end up acting like her. 

Let’s keep striving for the real goal, moms! Not that of pop icon but a follower of the Rock! 

Friday Funny--Who's your favorite?

This father is determined to get a certain answer. (Warning: there are a couple of mild swear words.)

Appreciation Notes for a Homeschool Mom

My daughter like to make cards and notes for individuals. Sometimes I'm actually the recipient!

After a long day of hitting the books at home, it was a big blessing to receive this...

I'm the best teacher!! I know the rest of you really try, but obviously, I'm the best.

But not only do I rock at teaching!

That's right. I'm the best mom in the WORLD!  What makes me qualified for this title you may ask?

Apparently, I like to cook. Well, I cook but actually I don't really like to do so. 
But this one was the kicker!

Okay, this is true. I do rest a lot. I'm not sure how it qualifies me as best mom in the world, but I'll take it. I do appreciate how THIN this picture makes me look!

Have you been shown appreciation lately?

Three Things the Father Never Says to Me

This was a convicting article since I think I probably said these three things in the last 60 minutes alone!

This summer our generous church family made it possible for me to take a three-month sabbatical. It was an amazing time that allowed me to spend more time with my family than usual. Together with our four children (ages 7-14), my wife and I did a three-week road trip to southern California, went camping, and kicked around our city. We played games and rode bikes and threw the football. I loved it, and am still thanking God regularly.

Not surprisingly, though, the increased time with my kids led me to experience more frustration (read, selfish anger) than usual, too. At times, I found myself looking forward to getting back to the normal routine where helping mediate adult conflicts can sometimes seem easy compared to keeping the peace in my home.

Though I have a great earthly dad, my heavenly Father has been my best example when it comes to loving and training my children well. So, amidst my frustration, the Spirit called my attention to a few specific things that I was saying to my children, phrases that the Father never says to me as His beloved child.

READ THE REST HERE!

Like Mother Like Daughter

I like to tease my friends when their children do something strange/funny with the phrase, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

What's interesting is when there are similarities between mother and adopted daughter.

I love these pictures I did in her baby scrapbook.

I was a little older than she was in the picture but I love the similarities!

Or this one:

This one is really funny because when mija and hubby were looking through the book, they thought both pictures were her!

I'm the one on the top.
(There are more, but I do not want to provide photos that could be used in blackmailing me!)

"Like Mother Like Daughter" has continued.

I secretly giggle when she lets us know what "the point is" because the point is I use that phrase more than I would like to admit!

Herbal tea. We both really enjoy a nice cup of warm, herbal tea. It was really funny when she asked for herbal tea for her birthday and Christmas when she was four!

But not all the ways of similarities are cute or positive. 


She often sighs from frustration. Yea, I do that. 

Stomping when angry or interrupted. We both do that. 
(sigh) 
Oops, there is that sigh of frustration again!

Then I am confronted with verses like Proverbs 1:8-9 which reads "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck."

Am I making sure that what she learns from me will beneficial for her later?
Convicting, huh?

As my daughter continues to grow, will people see her character and say, "Like mother like daughter?"
Will they see her spiritual walk and comment that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?"

Praying that it will be so!

Check out my "UGH" piece

I wrote "More Than an Inconvenience" for Eternal Encouragement, but also got to share it on my friend's blog Biblical Counseling for Women.

I was really humbled and honored that not only Lorrie Flem posted the piece, but that my friend, Julie Ganschow of Reigning Grace Counseling Center also asked to post it.

Go check it out at...

S*x in the Sanctuary

We attend a family-integrated church. That means our children attend the service with us. There is no children's church or activities during the service. The whole family attends and has the same worship and the same sermon.

Our pastor is an expository teacher. He teaches straight through passages of Scripture instead of topics. Which means whatever the next portion of Scripture is talking about, that is what pastor will preach on.

That's why you know it's only a matter of time before you get s*x in the sanctuary.

I've actually seen it happen right in front of me. Pastor mentions the subject in the course of preaching. 

First, the child looks to mom and whispers, "What is s*x?" 
Mom says, "Huh?"
The child asks again.
Mom: "Ask your father."
The child asks the father.
Dad: "Huh?"
The child asks again.
Dad: whisper whisper whisper
Child: "Huh?"
Dad: "We'll talk about it later."

Me sitting behind them: Trying not to laugh out loud.

I should have known my turn was coming.

This past Sunday Pastor was in Luke 16...the "can't serve God and money" passage. He made a valid point that historically, two of the ways you can tell the difference between believers and the society/culture in which they live is how they use their money and how they practice sexual purity.

Thankfully, my s*x question waited until we got home.

We were watching an episode of Nature about hummingbirds. (Did you know they ate bugs?) 

Mija: "What is s*x?"
Me: "Huh?"
Mija: "What is s*x?"
Me: (quick prayer) "Remember I mentioned that there was a special way God made for a husband and wife to be together? That can be called s*x."
Mija: "Oh, okay."

That was it.

But it gave me a few things about which to be thankful:

• I'm thankful that she feels she can come to me with questions.
• I'm thankful that we have slowly laid a foundation of God's design for our bodies and our marriage. It's not just a big, surprise talk that will happen, but bits of everyday life built on each other.
• I'm thankful that we attend a church that reinforces what we are teaching at home.
• I'm thankful that she hears about it in church instead of the playground.

So, there you have it. S*x in the sanctuary, which is one of the places it should be!

     

More than an Inconvenience and I'm Not a Perfect Mom

I was a guest blogger on Lorrie Flem's blog today. Her blog is Randy's Rib.

My article is More Than an Inconvenience. 

I also had an article on May 15 entitled I'm Not a Perfect Mom (and I'm glad about it)

Please check them out!

Staying on my Wall--my new article at Homeschool Survival

I have a new article posted at Homeschool Survival. Sarah's goal for the site is it to be refuge for homeschoolers who are going through hard times. Let's face it. We all go through them at times.

• death in the family
• messy house
• lack of car
• health issues
• unemployment
• you get the idea

My article is about homeschooling during my husband's recent unemployment. It's entitled, Staying on my Wall. I'd love for you to go check it out!

Homeschool Dads Beware

Most of us are home educating moms, but this is a growing group of home educating dads. They may be the primary teacher or a very involved father.

As much as we deal with the public questions and concerns about homeschooling in general, dads can face it even more so.

We were recently talking to a friend who schools his 3 daughters while his wife works. He's usually the odd man out at homeschool activities because, well, he's the man!
There are the awkward situations he has to deal with as well like public restrooms, swimming, etc., and there are the dangerous situations like just being out in public alone with his daughters.

Dangerous because people are being trained to question men alone with children.

Here's an example.

That's right. Surely there is something to be suspicious about a man being with a little girl. 

Think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill? Let me tell you a story.

About four years ago, my hubby took my then 4 year old to the mall to shop for a present for me. She threw a MAJOR TANTRUM in the middle of the mall because she couldn't ride the merry-go-round. 

Like any good parent after deducing that this was not going to be a quick fix, my husband picked her up and started for the car to bring her home.

On the way back to the car, he was stopped twice by "civilians" questioning whether mija was actually his daughter. 
Then the mall cop on the Segway (yes, really) came up and began to question him. It didn't stop there. He literally followed my hubby and a still screaming mija out to our van. The mall cop looked into our van to verify it had a booster seat and copied down the license plate number and the info from my hubby's driver's license.

He truly expected the police or CPS to be at the house when he got home.

This was a really hard place to be. I was so thankful that there really were people who would step up to protect a child in case of abduction. The mall cop also did a good job even making sure to document the situation.

On the other hand, my husband was trying to be a good parent and was suspected because of it.

Would it have happened if I, the mom, had been the person dragging a screaming child out of the mall.

I doubt it.

Can you see the tantrum building?

The same year, mija had another MAJOR MELTDOWN when we attending a Tea Party rally. Leaving hubby behind to pick up all of our stuff, I carried a flailing, screaming child several blocks along a busy, active, boulevard. People were ever where.

Was I stopped or questioned? No.

Why? I think mostly because I was a female. 
Maybe secondary reason was because we were in a group of somewhat like-minded people. 
But mostly because I was female.

So, let's keep our men in prayer. This is just one more way they are being attacked.

A Review: Cleaning House---more than just a housekeeping book

I overlooked Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement until I read that subtitle. Youth Entitlement. That was a subject I thought had merit.

In her book, Kay Wills Wyma shares her real-life "experiment" in helping her children overcome some of the entitlement issues that are facing most of our youth today.

I appreciate her honesty! She doesn't have it all together and neither does her children. I can learn from a real person. 

Each month she undertook a new chore or responsibility for her children. She shares stories about how the new aspect of the experiment went. She ends each chapter telling not only what her children learned that month but also what she learned that month.

She writes with humor which makes a book with some pretty deep thoughts a fun and easy read. In addition to giving her ideas, she provides ideas from her "Ironing Board" who are a group of her friends and mentors.

I highly recommend this book. 

When I first started reading, I was a little concerned about what seemed a lack of God in the content, but was pleased to see as the experiment continued, she could see and share more of God's work through it all.

Convicting and comic.
Encouraging and entertaining.
Realistic and rallying.
Honesty and humor.

Find Kay on her blog or on Facebook.


I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review

Happy Mother's Day to my super friends!

My Ministry--A Gift of God's Grace

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God's grace, which was given me by the working of his power. (Ephesians 3:7, ESV)

When I read this verse, I thought about Paul's ministry and the challenges he faced.  I'll let him tell it in his own words.

Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea; on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. (2 Cor. 11:25-27, ESV)

Definitely sounds challenging.  Yet he believed being a minister to the Gentiles was a gift of God's grace. A minister is a servant or waiter. Most wouldn't consider a calling as a servant a great gift.  In fact, it's not just a gift but a gift of grace.  In other words, this gift is undeserved. He didn't even deserve to be a servant. 

Then I considered me.  I was made a minister to my family.  I serve my family.  I definitely face challenges in this ministry but thankfully none like Paul's!!  This role to minister to my family is a gift of God's grace.  I don't deserve to serve them, but God gifted me with this ministry.

Too often, the world tries to tell us that our roles as wife and mother are a curse or a trap.  Sometimes we believe them.  Instead, I'm going to choose to consider this ministry I have as a gift of God's grace.  Thanks for the gift, Father!

Linked to:

Gentle Discipline--Love Covers all Offenses

I've been beating my head against the wall lately.  Mija has been going crazy with attitude and disobedience. 
I enter this picture as exhibit A:

She had a tizzy about not being allowed to use the nail polish, threw it and then we had a broken bottle and pink nail polish on the light tan carpet.


That's just one example.  {sigh}


We've done everything.  Talking. Swatting. Taking things away.  Adding chores. Early bedtime. Et al ad nauseam.  Of course, also prayers have been said and tears have been shed.  Not as a last resort, mind you, but purposefully all along.


New Year's Eve while I was sitting alone with hubby at work and mija in bed, I recalled Proverb 10:12,  "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses."


I definitely have had hatred lately.  Not at my daughter, of course, but at the behavior, the uproar it's caused in our home, and my responses and lack of results. It definitely was resulting in more strife.  


Thankfully, the part that the Spirit seemed to be impressing was "love covers all offenses." Of course, I love her, and I have been trying to correct her because I love her.   My love, however, hasn't been covering her offenses they were picking at them.  I was pouring salt in both of our wounds over the situation.


So, I've been trying something different.  Instead of jumping on her right away, I bring her close and try to put words to what is wrong.  I've been using gentle words to discuss alternatives before everything hits the fan.  I've been trying to cover the sparks of her offenses with my love before it explodes.


It's been making a difference the last few days.  I don't think it's been a magic bullet.  There's no such thing.  But it has been a blessing applying this scripture and seeing it work.

What's also a blessing is a new challenge entitled "The Gentleness Challenge."  I just found out about it although it started on Sunday.  It is exactly what I needed.  Courtney stated:

Let’s focus this January on dealing gently with our children. Touch them gently, use their names gently, use your words gently, slow down and be loving, kind, and gracious.

I think gentleness is what God was talking about when He said, "Love covers all offenses."  

So pray for me as I work on gentleness with mija this month and always!

And join me if you'd like!

Linked to:

Yelling: The Cause, The Casualty, The Cure

 Time for my Gabby Mom review!  This month's review is "Yelling: The Cause, The Casualty, The Cure" from Eternal Encouragement.

I've been yelling more lately.  I know it.  Between health issues acting up and playing around with meds, I've have not been in a "happy place."  In fact, it's been more of a hurting, upchucking, crying kind of place.

All that makes my fuse much shorter than normal much to my chagrin. I'm feeling poorly enough but resorting to yelling makes me feel that much worse as a mother and a person. 

Lorrie Flem recognizes that in this e-book.  Yelling makes moms feel like failures, and so, she offers an 11-step plan to help us stop yelling.  It's an great mix of things from prayer to practical.  (Not that prayer isn't practical!)

Thanks to "Yelling: The Cause, The Casualty, The Cure" I have a few more tools to use even if I'm not feeling well, especially if I work on preventing the triggers.

I received this e-book for free in exchange for my honest review.

Gospel-Saturated Dish-Washing and Diaper-Changing

Gospel-Saturated Dish-Washing and Diaper-Changing
From the November 14th Desiring God Blog.

"In his new book, Gospel Wakefulness, Jared Wilson talks about how all of life is relevant for mission. From drinking coffee to changing diapers, from cutting the grass to washing dishes — all of life can be lived to the glory of God by those who have been awakened to the gospel of our exhaustively sovereign Savior."
 
Read an excerpt HERE.

The Miserable Druken Homemaker

Laurette Lynn
The Unplugged Mom

The Unplugged Mom has done it again. 

She has a great post about an disparaging example of how the noble calling of homemaker is viewed.

Let's take a simple symbol of homemaking like an apron and pervert it!

Check it out HERE.