God's been teaching me a lot lately about my daughter and through my daughter.
Today's message from Nancy Leigh Demoss spoke to that which is why I posted it on my blog. I think one of the statements that really got to me was, "God uses your children, kind of like heavenly sandpaper, to expose who you really are and to show you needs in your life."
I have known since she was a very young age that she was a sanguine/feeler. I had thought that I had kept that in mind. Some of the online meetings I attended at School House Expo (BTW, you can purchase the MP3's of the meetings!) made me realize how little I understood or addressed this issue.
Now, I'm partly a sanguine, but I'm also a choleric. I describe myself as "a person who wants to get things done but have fun while doing it." See me in a crowd and "I'm one wild and crazy gal!" See me at home and I'm too busy trying to get things done to seek out people. I'm guilty of putting things and the order of things before people. For instance, I don't normally think of calling people on my own, but if I have a reason to call you or you call me, I will sit there and talk and visit for quite awhile.
My daughter on the other hand is a "major sanguine." In the past, I admit that there have been times when I've said that in a derogatory manner. Like being "major sanguine" was an error in her programming, so to speak. I mean, doesn't everyone come into the word know "to every thing (turn, turn, turn) there is a season (turn, turn, turn) and a time to every purpose under heaven"? There's a time to party/play and a time to work.
Thankfully, Diana Waring reminded me of some of very important things which I posted HERE. She started by pointing out that a child that does things "too much" or "too often" are wired that way by God. It may be immature & unripened fruit of what God's made them to be, but it's the wiring of God. Notice the word fruit. Fruit is a desired outcome. This is how God made her to be. I've been looking at this fruit tree starting to grow fruit and calling the fruit a thorn. If you plant a fruit tree, it's not a mistake if it starts to grow fruit!
Then Carol Barnier taught about distractable children (which I just realized I hadn't finished posting---talk about distractable!) She made the point they are not doing it to "get you." I know many times, I felt like my DD was purposefully "pushing my buttons," but this one statement made me realize how many times she's just being herself.
Now, I had thought I had the whole sanguine thing covered by involving her in church, of course, and participating in classes like ballet. Two things occurred this weekend though that demonstrated how sanguine my DD and how I've allowed it push my buttons.
Since the time she's been able to talk about what we've read or watched, my dd has had the habit of asking questions about the characters that aren't in that scene or chapter! I thought, why in the world would someone care about why Sandy the dog wasn't at the White House with Annie or how baby Carrie felt when Pa Ingalls dunked Laura under the water?
This weekend we dropped her cousin off at camp. We waited while he signed in. While waiting I heard, "What's he doing?" "What kind of papers did he need?" "Does he know any of these people?" et al.
Finally it clicked as we were sitting there. She's not asking these question just to bug me, she's asking them because she's all about people!!
The other example was listening to her talk to my mom on the phone. "It's been such an busy weekend! On Saturday, we went to Danial's graduation...Sunday was Miss Helen's birthday...We went to Uncle Matt's and Aunt DJ's house on Monday. The highlights of the weekend? Spending time with people.
All this means that I'm finally starting to see aspects of God's design in my DD that I haven't appreciated. During the daily grind, it's been easy to mistake the unripened fruit as thorns. I pray that since I have this summer to digest this, I'll be able to apply it to her schooling in the fall.
It's very different addressing the needs of a whole class like I've done previously to addressing the needs of one. While I've lauded homeschooling as a means of addressing my child's individual needs, I've only mainly focused on her academic needs. To this point, my attempts to address her social needs have been limited.
Oh, and then there is parenting (as if I could truly separate teaching from parenting!) There are things to consider as I'm used to help ripen "His fruit". There really is the matter of a time for everything. It's not always time to play and socialize. There's the issue of seeing people as souls with needs and not just a means to meet my own needs. There is the responsibility to choose people that will walk with me on a godly path rather than lead to "walk in the way of sinners."
But again as Carol Barnier noted, it's not just God using us in our children's lives but using them in our lives. So, what has my "heavenly sand paper" been teaching me? God's sovereignty doesn't just hold sway over circumstances and situations but over His creation and how He chose to design that creation especially when it comes to a little sanguine I love.
I'm learning to tell unripenend but disirable fruit from thorns!
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