Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Turn that car around right this minute!

I wish I could come up with great parenting tools on my own.  Usually, that doesn't happen.  I have to steal them.  As a student teacher, I was told that stealing another teacher's idea was paying them a compliment!  So, I compliment a lot of people!

I can't remember exactly where I got this idea.  I think maybe from Biblical Parenting

The topic was anger.  They mentioned using a car analogy to talk about anger with your child.  I was all ears, or all eyes, as the case may be.  My darling daughter can go from zero to 60 in nothing flat.  This is has been an ongoing training period for both of us.

At one point, at a down time not in the middle of something, I sat and talked to her about her anger.  She had finally realized it was anger.  (I know, the first step is realizing there's a problem!)  For a long time, when we discussed it, she would say she was sad.  I would explain the difference, and we'd even act out the emotions.  I think in part, she didn't want to admit she was angry.  She seemed to think sad was acceptable while anger was not even though I tried to explain that the Bible says, "Be ye angry, and sin not" (Eph. 4:26). 
I used the car analogy.  I explained that she was like a car.  When she expressed her anger in a bad way, it was like seeing a big wall in front of her and driving her car right into making a big wreck.  But she had a choice.  She could could stop her car and even back it up. 

She understood that.  Initially, I had to still point it out for her.  "You just wrecked your car."  "You're heading for a car wreck."

Now however, it's not surprising to hear her say, "I'm backing up the car," when I start to call her on something.  It shows me that she is being mindful of her emotions and actions.  That's a big start. 

Now, if I could only learn how to put my own car in reverse!

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